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We'll Miss You Always, Skyler
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All of us here at home are simply heartbroken. Words just can't express the pain that comes from losing a pet - a small and dear creature that was just as part of our family as any of us. Skyler brought us so much joy and happiness and laughter. His personality alone was enough to win our hearts - the way he went out of his way to be with us, on our heads or shoulders or in our faces giving us "kisses" as only a little bird can. We will miss the way he sang with me when I would sing You Are My Sunshine to him...he would stop when I stopped, sing again when I resumed...the way he would just sit and listen to us when we talked to him, cocking his head left and right as if he were truly trying to understand the words we spoke...the way he would play like a silly bird in his cage filled with handmade toys, strings of buttons and bells...the way he would perch himself on his teddy bear toy every night as he slept...the way he loved to play with ink pens and shiny coins...oh, and so many more precious, little things. We'll miss sharing our popcorn with him, petting his little head when he let us, hearing him "laugh" and say "Skyler Baby Birdy" and "Hey Skyler Skyler" and other sweet feathered words, we'll miss the little reminders that he was out and about - the chewed corners of our magazines, the birdie slobber on the mirrors, and other tiny things birds are known to leave behind now and again. We'll miss the way he'd run through wet paint lids and then leave his tiny painted footprints behind him. We'll miss the way he'd sing with the birds outside when the windows were open and even the way he refused to eat fruits and vegetables - and the way he'd land on the dining table and run from plate to plate trying to steal away with some morsels of our food. We'll miss having such a happy, happy little being around...There is so much, little man, that we'll miss about you.
There was a terrible accident early Sunday morning. Our youngest girl was coming into the sunroom and slammed the door behind her. Skyler was trying to quickly fly in after her and the door caught him. He died instantly. My little girl (6) was beside herself...she scooped him up and brought him to Hubs - she was crying and shaking uncontrollably and our hearts broke both for her and for our Skyler. Like the the rest of us, she is a true animal lover (we don't even kill spiders in our home). Our 12 year old - who was mostly responsible for the care and keeping of Skyler (they roomed together and were very close) wasn't even home. She had stayed the night with a friend the night before but was sure to "tuck him in" before she left, covering his cage with a sheet and leaving classical music on for him just as he liked. Hubs had to go and pick her up early without explaining to her over the phone why - and then in person he told her what had happened and that she needed to be home so that we could bury him together.
It was oh so hard. We found a pretty decorative box with a hinged lid and blue ribbon, and soft white tissue paper to line it with, and tucked him gently inside. We buried him in our front landscaping bed and later when the girls are feeling up to it, we'll find some special flowers to plant over his little burial spot. My 12 year old wants to make a word stone with his name on it, but she wasn't up to it today. Of the three girls, she's taking this the hardest. Everything is a reminder. We love birds and tend to "collect" them through our decorative accessories and even on the clothes we wear (from dresses to ties). Even hearing the outside birds sing hurts, but I know that won't last forever.
Yesterday, to help get our minds over what had happened, we left the house and fed ourselves comfort food at a favorite restaurant, went to a park, rode our bikes together, stretched a blanket out by a stream and read, splashed in a creek, and then hung out at a bookstore for quite a while. No one wanted to come home. No one wanted to see the reminders. In our haste to leave the house, we forgot to put the cage away, so it greeted us first thing as we walked in the door. Our first instinct was to want to say hello and chit chat/babytalk with Skyler, and our hearts were once again heavy when it hit us that he was gone. Today, we've tried to keep it light here at home, working on art projects, listening to music, and smiling, laughing, and playing as the mood hits us. Last week, the girls made clay sculptures that we baked until hard. They didn't have time to paint their sculptures then, so they did today...my middle child had made a "Skyler sculpture" and it was the first one she painted to be given as a gift to my oldest daughter.
I hope this doesn't come across as overly dramatic, but this really is our first family tragedy that has hit our children so close to home. They've lost great-grandparents, but they didn't really know them and while they were sad, they weren't distraught like this. Except for a hampster we had briefly when the youngest were babies, they've never lost a pet in death.
So I've reminded them that they won't always hurt so much and that with each passing day, it will get a tiny bit easier. Soon, we won't first remember the tragedy itself but instead will remember the pure joy that this little fellow brought into our lives. I've had plenty of crying bouts myself and I've let them see how much I hurt, while at the same time trying to hold back the tears at times when I feel they need to see me strong. I reminded them of this verse and hope that it somehow brings them as much comfort as it brings to me right now...
Do not two sparrows sell for a coin of small value? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground without your Father’s knowledge. ~Matthew 10:29
Thank you all *so much* for the kind words and well wishes below concerning my wisdom teeth. The surgery was an utter success and my pain has been minimal. I haven't even needed a prescription for pain - just ibuprofen now and again. The day after my surgery, Saturday, I rested for a little while at home and then spent the rest of the day to myself outside the house, visiting thrift and bookstores, reading and walking in the park. Thank you again, everyone:)
57 comments:
So sorry for your loss. The way you handled it with your girls will stick with them forever so don't think you were being dramatic. It's hard to lose any pet.
And glad your wisdom teeth removal went well. I had mine out in 1975 when I was much younger and it was horrible. I ate ice cream and only ice cream for quite a while!
I have had parakeets all my life, and know what truly wonderful little pets they are. My heart goes out to you, in fact my eyes are all teary from reading your post. They have such adorable little personalities, and I know how deadly quiet a home feels and sounds when they are gone. Through the years we have had a similar tragedy and many close calls. My daughter-in-law has twice climbed very tall trees to rescue theirs (climbing down with a very mad little parakeet tucked down the front of her shirt!. The last time it made the local newspaper.
As with any sorrow, time makes it easier. And know your post was not overly dramatic. Your family sounds truly lovely, and most important of all, very loving.
I am so sorry for your loss-Skyler was very loved. It isn't silly at all, it shows that you and your dear girls are full of love and compassion. When I lost my precious golden retreiver I was in a little gift shop and bought a small silver dog bone to put on a chain. I wore that bone everyday until I felt strong enough to take it off. Now it is on my charm bracelet and when I wear it I only think of good times with my sweet girl.
That is such a sad story. I so feel for you. When our 18 year old cat died, my daughter took it very hard. It does get better with time.
I know how you feel. I'm so sorry.
Glad that your wisdom teeth surgery went well.
Rosemary
I'm so sorry for the loss of your pet. People who don't have animals sometimes cannot understand how much they become a part of our lives.
I'm sitting at work and it is about half hour before I'm closing.....I'm so glad it is raining outside as I don't expect anyone to come in. I'm sitting here with tears streaming down my face...how would I ever handle it if something ever happened to my Chalky. I find myself getting very upset here at the shop when customers talk about the loss of a loved pet...am an old sook!!
Kim, I am so sorry! Our parakeet, Buddy, is about 12 years old and is 'always' on his last leg, then we laugh and say he's been resurrected when he comes out of a slump. I know one of these days I'll find him gone so I've tried to prepare myself but I know there is really no preparation for that. Our husky is in the same shape at almost 14 and I just cringe thinking of the inevitable. What we endure may make us stronger BUT it never makes it easier to accept, especially when it is so unexpected!
My hugs and love go out to you and your family.
I'm glad you've recovered so quickly from your wisdom teeth.
PS Me again Kim.....loved the bible verse..so right. Send a BIG hug now that I am acting grown up.
Oh Kim, I'm so sorry that you and your family are going through this. It is so hard.
OH NO !!!!!!!!!!! I'm SO SORRY about your sweet Skyler. From one animal lover to another, I don't think it's silly at all to be so upset. I cry everytime I lose one of our dear sweet friends here at home. I sure hope your family will feel better soon from your loose.
(((HUGS)))
Roberta
No words.....so sorry-thinking of you and your family.
I'm so sorry about your precious bird. My heart goes out to you and your family.
maria
What a beautiful bird Skyler was. The prettiest blue in the world. I have a cockatiel and understand the deep connection you can have with a little bird and how much love they have to give - they are the sweetest creatures.
I'm sorry you lost him so suddenly and so soon.
My heart goes out to you and yours at the loss of such an apparently charming little fellow. I feel for all of you- particularly the girls. The first time I think I ever experienced the sensation of being depressed was when I lost a little gerbil at the age of 10. So I know how big & real it is to lose a little guy (who seemed to have a big personality).
My thoughts & good cheer are with all of you!!
Oh, how horribly sad. I am streaming with tears reading this and trying not to make any noise so I'm not heard!
We have had dogs cats and birds all our lives and would have a lot of money now if not for vet bills! At present we have four dogs, a cat who is 18 yrs and a cockatiel who is 26 yrs. It's going to be an awful day when we lose any of them.
I hope your girls get better , they will of course, even though it seems the grief will never end.
Oh I'm so sorry about Skyler. It really is hard to loose a pet, alot of people just don't understand how they become a part of your family.
Hugs to you and your family,
Manuela
I am so sorry. I lost a less than one year old Schnawzer after we moved. I found her on the street and until this day, it's one of the most painful things I've been though. It was such a shock and surprice as it was for you and your family. I hope with every passing day things can get easier. Pets are part of the family and your grief is very real. I'll be thinking of you and your family.
oh thats so sad i have tried to get intouch before i feel for you all its sad when children loose a pet i had budgie called bluie and died of old age jep
I'm sorry to hear of your loss. It is amazing how these little fellows can capture our hearts and become a part of our lives forever. May your fond memories of Skyler give you and yours strength during this difficult time. Love to you & yours.
I'm so sorry, my heart goes out to your girls. Our guinea pig died a few months ago and there was much sadness in our home. We have a parakeet and you are right they are very sweet little pets.
I see there is another Roberta...this is Roberta from Debtor2mercy.)
I'm so sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry for your loss...may he rest in birdie heaven peacefully!
Thank you so much for letting us know you and your family. Realize all the strength you have gained by dealing with tragedy together as a family and the Wisdom you, as the mother have shown in allowing each one to grieve openly. It doesn't matter if it is the loss of a game, a grade or a special pet; our children learn to live by how we allow them to feel grief.
It is a blessed comfort that God gives us pets to love and they in turn love us. I believe He made sure to preserve that verse in Matthew to show His character in caring for the smallest and weakest beings.
What a wonderful way to show our children how much He cares for us.
I am so sorry for your loss. I was just visiting my sister who has a dear little parakeet. I was looking at cages today, but I have 3 cats and a crazy poodle. It sounds like Skyler had a wonderful life. I like that he had freedom outside his cage.
I am so sorry about your bird Skyler.
We raises canaries for a while and when we lost them my daughter cryed for days. We lost our mate for our lovebird and our parakeet,so I have the cages side by side in the sunroon
so they get early morning sun and can hear the outside birds.Pets are so much apart of our lives.
In time maybe your family will get another one. Mary
So very very sorry about the tragic loss of your dear little bird! Such a sad accident! My dearest thoughts are sent out to your whole family! I am glad that your surgery went so well -- and that you are able to be up-and-about to deal with all the heartaches too!
Jan at Rosemary Cottage
Many, many hugs to all of you! I sincerely appreciate all the kind, encouraging, and thoughtful comments, especially the sharing of personal experiences. I've read them and reread them - they mean so much. Today was a better day around here and my 12 yo smiled more and worked on art projects, which she couldn't do yesterday. She wears Skyler's bell on a chain around her neck and that helps her alot.
Thanks again, everyone. It will be a little easier day by day:)
Oh Kim, I'm heart broken for you. :(
That scripture in Matthew is perfect. I thought of that immediately as I was reading of your loss.
Losing a pet is so hard. Our dog Ubu is 13 yrs old, which is pretty old for a large breed. I don't know what I'll do when shes gone.
You and your family are in my thoughts.
Awww. THis is so sad. We are animal lovers here too...and don't kill spiders either. I had to swat a wasp the other day because I couldnt get it to leave voluntarily. That made me sad.
Daddy is very different. He feels like animals are animals and doesnt get too attatched, though he does have his favorites. I think that's because when he was little, his favorite dog died and he has never really gotten over it.
I always cry when my pets die though, even if they weren't a favorite pet. So sad for you.
I remember having my wisdom teeth out a few years ago. That hole in the back of my mouth drove me crazy and it wasnt until the doctor gave me this string of 'clove paste' to stick down in there that I finally felt secure about it being there. I hated that part.
I am so sorry that you lost such a special family member. (((hugs))) to you all.
I feel so sad for you and your family, losing a pet is one of the hardest things to deal with, especially when you have young children to consol too. You are so close that you will heal together and treasure the wonderful memories of little Skyler. I got covered in goosebumps reading your post which must have been heart wrenching in itself for you to write down.
Be brave, soon you will enjoy the birdsong again.
Hazel
Oh Kim, I am so sorry for your loss. ((hugs)) Skyler was beautiful. And you are a wonderful, wonderful Mommy.
xo,
Kim
I'm so sorry about your little bird. We lost a parakeet in a similar way...my (then) little daughter accidently killed him by trying to hang on to him when he wanted away. We had had him 8 years and she felt so bad about it that she never told how he died and she just recently fessed up..and she's 16! Poor baby. And now we just lost our dog. Losing a pet is sooo sad, and it sounds to me like you handled it beautifully.
So very sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved pet. [[[hugs]]]
Kim, that is such a sad story & I'm so sorry for your family. I hope that you can maybe get another birdie soon & even though it won't be Skylar, maybe it would ease the pain. He was a beautiful little guy.
Rhoda
Southern Hospitality
Miranda: Don't know what to say...I feel so bad and almost crying when I read the tragedy :( So sorry about this :(
I too, am really sorry for your loss-it is devastating to lose a pet.Hope you are feeling a bit better teeth-wise!
Sending hugs to each of you. What a sweet wonderful little bird you had. It's amazing how such little creatures can be so smart and interactive. He was very well loved. As painful as it is for your children, the experience will reap value for them later. We are all soppy pet lovers in my family. We could talk about any of them in our past and have fresh tears. I'm glad you shared your joy and your sorrow of Skyler's life.
Oh, dear~ that is so sad. I can understand the distress your family is feeling, especially the little one. Skyler's personality really shines through the photos & you were fortunate to have shared his life.
I'm so sorry about your loss. I will keep your family in my prayers. How hard for the girls. God Bless You!
I am so sorry for your loss. We too had to have our bird put to sleep when she was terminally ill. We took her to the vet, children too and they said their goodbyes, we didn't want her suffering any longer. Both the children and I painted tiny headstones on rocks and we buried her in our back yard and placed the headstones on it. We painted her picture on the rocks and I still have the rock the boys painted. She was a much beloved pet, we had her for 12 years and I undertand what you are going through. God Bless.
I've been lurking on your blog for a while now and felt like I needed to respond today. I've never owned a bird, but reading your feelings brings tears to my eyes. Kim, we are a dog family and having gone through this with our dogs in the past, it's truly a REAL grief that only a pet lover understands. I love the idea of planting a special flower over Skyler's grave. I'm so sorry for your loss. Time does heal the pain.
Sophia
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved family pet. We have had a parakeet for almost 10 years and I dread the day he passes. I think you have handled this with tremendous grace and provided comfort for your kids...they will remember this about you and be very appreciative! God Bless!!!
I'm so sorry for your loss, losing a pet is SO hard. I don't think you were being overly dramatic at all, and I'll keep you guys in my prayers.
God bless :)
I am so sorry for your loss. He'll always be in your heart and someday you will meet again. We all will meet the special furry, feathered friends who have graced our lives with so much love.
I'm so sorry for you and your family. The loss of a beloved pet is a terrible tragedy... :(
Oh my goodness, you have so much in common with my sister, Wendy. She lost her beloved budgie, Tweety, last year and she is also remodeling her home which is frustrating her with the slow pace at which it is progressing. She is on a very tight budget and gets the blues that people might not see what she sees in her house, especially since it has the wide siding on it that definitely needs updating to match her great taste.
You should visit her blog thishousewecallhome.blogspot.com
The changes she has made are amazing and it is truly a beautiful home in the making.
Again, sorry about your bird...
Linda
What can I say except I'm sorry for your loss. I do understand what it's like to lose a pet and even though it's hard to explain to other people, anyone who's lost a pet knows how it feels. Best. ~A :-)
Thank you *all* so very much for your loving and thoughtful comments. It means so much! We are doing a lot better and the children are no longer sad and are enjoying their summer break. We've been to the lake a lot! Hugs to all and thank you again!
Reading of your lost brought back so many memories. My husband and I had a parakeet too, his name was Nicolas...he was our first baby! I remember when we lost him how heart broken we were..it's hard to explain that to a person who has never enjoyed the love of a Budgie. He would 'play' scrabble, with us. Take the tiles off the board, run over to the edge of the table and drop them, cocking his head sideways to see it hit the floor, then run back to for another. That was over 25 years ago! Your blog made both of us sigh. Thanks for sharing, hope your hearts are beginning to mend.
Hi, Kim,
I know how you feel, our cat went missing not even a week ago. I read your story about Skyler to my kids, they think we should go to our favourite restaurant too.
oh man, i cried reading this..I love birds, i used to have canaries...How sad for you all...poor baby..
hugs to all,
I am so sorry...I have tears in my eyes as I read this as we had a beautiful little bird just like yours...we called him Tweetie. He would give us kisses and sing and play and would get all excited if my mother dropped by as he really liked her.
He died from a vase falling onto the floor and the scare killed him. We were devastated...we buried our little friend in our garden too...in a special box with all his little favourite things.
Until I read your post I used to feel silly expressing how we felt about a little bird...thank you for expressing it so beautifully!
On another note, I found your blog surfing and I see that my sister from restyled home has already found you...I love your blog and I am adding it to my favourites!
I'm sorry about losing Skyler. It sounds like Skyler was a very special pet indeed.
Aw, thank you for your sweet comments...It's never easy to lose a pet you love but time and sweet thoughts from others certainly helps. Thank you!
It's been so long since I have had a chance to go blog browsing. I have so missed reading your blog. We too lost our birdie recently. His name was Cracker and we loved him so dearly. he belonged to my six year old son and he was so devestated. It has been over six months and we still can't take care of his cage. It just hurts too much. We can not get another one because Cracker died from heart stress. We had recently moved into our new home which is right by an airforce base. He couldn't take the big carriers flying right over the house. He died while we were away at an airshow. I understand your loss. please give my condolences to you children.
...I cry tears for you...and for him...
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